Girl to Boy, Boy to Girl
by Underground Romance
Summary: Crackfic: Oneshot. After team 7 gets trapped in a dreary cave while on a mission, Naruto finds a peculiar object that swaps everyone's gender! Rated T for language and sexual humor.


**Girl to Boy, Boy to Girl.**

It all began with a simple enough mission.

The Hokage had called in Kakashi to tell him of a mission that was assigned to his team, which he had to begin immediately. It seemed easy; all they had to do was search for a missing rookie ninja, who had been sent off on a simple errand. Kakashi and his team set off immediately to find the missing ninja, expecting a short search.

"Another dumb mission!" Naruto kept whining, despite Sakura's constant 'shut up's. The four leapt tree to tree, sharp eyes scanning the area. Kakashi was about to tell them to split up, when suddenly, a kunai shot out of nowhere, almost ripping Naruto's head off. But the blonde managed to dodge it, almost falling off the tree branch in the process.

Another kunai barely missed Sakura's cheek, and that's when Kakashi jumped forward, bringing his hand upwards and punching something in the trees that his team didn't seem to be able to see.

A sharp cry was heard, then a thud below. Kakashi jumped down off the tree, the other ninja following suit in bewildered confusion. A girl lay there, maybe the same age as Kakashi, with long brown hair that fell around her like a puddle, her torn ninja clothes stained with dirt and blood. Then she began to laugh, her shoulders shaking, her head lifting up to expose dark green eyes, blood smeared over her mouth, a Cheshire-like grin flickering across her face.

A shadow-like hand shot forward, right towards Kakashi's neck. The older ninja only jumped away, shoving his three students behind him and turning his blazing eyes to them.

"Run and hide! I know who this is, and you're no match for her!" He shouted, spinning around when another kunai, dripping with black liquid, barely missed Kakashi's leg, the grass where the black ooze fell onto burning into ashes.

"Let's go!" Sakura called as she darted the other way, Sasuke following behind, dragging a stubborn Naruto with him, who kept shouting something about wanting to help and about how real ninja don't run.

"There, we can go in there!" Sakura said, pointing at a jagged cave mouth. Without another word, the pink-haired girl jumped into the cave, Sasuke and Naruto following, crawling into the thick darkness. It was quiet, a quiet dripping noise echoing from acoss the small cave.

The three huddled near the edge, where the shadows hid them, and waited in silence. Not even three minutes after, the cave shook, a loud thumping noise coming from above them. Small specks of rock fell in front of the cave entrance, and Sakura's eyes widened with realization.

"W-We have to—" She began, only to be too late, for then a thick mass of earth crumbled in front of the cave, blocking the only exit they had. Sakura jumped forward, her hands slamming against the thick earth that trapped them, and tried to dig out, but her hands only stung and began to bleed.

"Idiot, its no use." Sasuke grunted. Naruto had been trying to help Sakura, but once the pink-haired ninja stopped and fell on her butt, so did he, staring at her in worry.

"We're stuck." She said quietly, before her shoulders started to shake in rage. "WE'RE STUCK! NARUTO, THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" She cried in rage, her eye twitching and her face red with anger. Naruto scoot away from the angry girl, his back pressing against the wall, face pale.

"I-I didn't do anything, Sakura-chan!" he whined. She shook her head, spinning away with her arms crossed, still seething, huffing in anger and annoyance. Sasuke looked away, leaning against the wall in silence, while Naruto started to roll around in the dirt whimpering pathetically.

"Ow!" he suddenly yelped, making Sakura roll her eyes from where she sat next to Sasuke. "Hey…what's this?"

Sakura turned around to see Naruto was holding an odd object upwards, inspecting it with squinted eyes. It looked like a kunai point, only it was in the shape of a square, with a huge silver speck in the middle, almost like a rock.

"I don't know." Sakura said, blinking at the object. "It's weird…"

"Hey…what's…" Naruto mumbled, pressing his finger against a distinct point on the bottom of the object. He instantly regretted it, because suddenly, the cave was engulfed in a bright silver light, and his body got really warm and tingly.

"NARUTO!" Sakura shrieked. "WH-WHAT DID YOU DO, YOU IDIOT!?"

Naruto squeezed his eyes shut, the feeling getting stronger, until suddenly, it was gone, and everything was silent again, except for two other people breathing heavily not too far from him. His eyes opened, and he realized his chest felt oddly heavy, and then he saw it.

"_OH MY GOD_!"

Sakura was a guy. Her outfit was the same, but what chest she had was gone, and she was bulkier than before. Her hair was styled differently, but it was still pink. Sasuke was a girl, and his hair was longer, going to his shoulders, and his butt was bigger and his body slimmer, and his chest was huge.

"What the Hell happened?" Sasuke scowled, his voice more…well, girly.

"I think that thing," Naruto said, realizing his voice was completely different. "Changed our genders…"

"WHAT THE HELL!?" Man-Sakura yelled, flailing his arms. "I'M A GUY!"

Naruto looked like he did when using sexy jutstu, so he assumed if Sasuke used the jutsu, that would be what he looked like. And man…as a girl…Sasuke was pretty hot, Naruto thought in his mind, making sure not to say such a thing out loud.

"Well, find it, and turn us back then, retard." Sasuke growled, eyes narrowing over his now-pretty face. Naruto gulped, and fell to his…her, knees, and searched for the object he had dropped. While he did that, he heard Sakura whining about her being a guy, and Sasuke growling like an angry dog every now and then.

"AH!" He squeaked. "Found it!"

Instantly, the other two were kneeling with him, staring intently at the small stone. Naruto pressed what he had earlier, but nothing happened, making Sakura groan and fall on her…his, back, frustration radiating off her.

"Maybe that girl from earlier has something to do with this!" Naruo guessed. "I mean…it's convenient. Why else would she lock us here? Or let us go like that?"

"Uh, the idiot makes a point." Sakura mumbled, not making a move to sit up.

Sasuke was silent.

"Well," Naruto giggled. "Might as well have fun with it until Kakashi-sensei finds us and helps us fix this…" he said, hands rubbing his new-found breasts, a goofy grin on his face and perverted little giggles leaving him. **(A/N: Naruto is feling himself up. Lol. xD)** Sasuke looked disgusted, and Sakura sat up, red in the face, as she began to pound Naruto, which at the moment, hurt more than it usually did.

"YOU PERVERT!" Sakura kept screeching in rage. Sasuke looked annoyed, and stood up, pausing in front of the blockade, using his fire-jutsu while Sakura beat up Naruto. Nothing happened; the blockage was too strong. Eventually though, Sasuke had found a sensitive spot, and the rocks and dirt crumbled, the mouth of the cave open.

Sakura jumped off of Naruo, who was groaning in pain, and ran over to Sasuke. Naruto sat up, grabbing the stone-like thing and putting it in his pocket, before he stood up and bounced over.

"Let's go find sensei!" Sakura said, jumping out of the cave and running off, Sasuke quickly darting after her, followed by Naruto. The three moved quickly through the woods, back to the spot they had left Kakashi.

But he wasn't there.

"Shit!" Sasuke barked angrily.

"Maybe he went looking for us." Sakura suggested. "Maybe we should go tell the Hokage about all this."

Naruto giggled, and Sasuke growled, not wanting anyone to see him like this. But he had no choice, so he nodded sulkily, and followed the other two as they ran off back to the village. Once they reached it, they got past the guards, and entered, going straight to the hokage's building.

"Heyyy," Sakura winced when she heard Ino's sly voice. "Who are these people? It looks like team 7…"

"But," Chouji said through his chewing. "There are two girls and one guy…wasn't it the other way around?"

"Ah," Sakura said without stopping or looking at them. "I'm Sakura's cousin…w-we came from another village to speak to the hokage so um bye!" She yelped, going into full speed, Sasuke rolling his eyes and following, while Naruto flounced around and winked at all the boys that stared at the newly-turned-female. At one point Kiba even tried o flirt up Sasuke, but the poor dog boy was pummeled to a pulp by both Sasuke and Sakura.

Once they reached the hokage's office, he didn't even need to ask, for his expression said it all. He ushered them in, and turned to the three after the found a seat, not including Sasuke, who leaned against the wall with an angry look on his, er, her face.

"This is obviously the work of Mika." He mumbled, eyeing the three. Sakura blushed, and Naruto winked. "She's a very skilled ninja, who unfortunately, turned bad years ago…she created her own jutsu. One that flows her own chakra into objects, and using any effects she wants on the person who touches it. Apparently, you touched something of hers that made your genders change."

"Ah," Naruto said, handing the Hokage the stone. "This is it…we tried to change back, but nothing happened."

The Hokage gently took the object, and rolled it around in his hands, before he blinked and put it on his desk, shaking his head. Sasuke narrowed his eyes but said nothing.

"Well this," The Hokage grumbled. "Is bad…the only way to change back is to get more of her chakra into the object, then use it again. All the chakra as used up turning you into…er, this…"

Naruto nodded, and Sakura flinched. Sasuke only scowled, straightening and leaving the room, to go find the girl, they were sure. Sakura stood, and motioned to Naruto, who also jumped to his feet.

"Good luck." He sighed, handing Naruto the object. Naruto nodded, then ran off, slipping it back into his pocket as he ran after Sakura. They ran as fast as they could back to where they left Kakashi, Sasuke in the lead, obviously knowing something they didn't, by the look in his eyes. Eventually they were proved right, for the girl they saw earlier was on her stomach, looking pained, as Kakashi sat on top of her, legs crossed as he said something to her, making her flinch and scowl.

"Mika!" Naruto yelped. The girl looked up, and Sakura scowled.

"YOU BITCH! YOU DID THIS TO MEEEEEE!"

Kakashi looked over, and fell silent, before he laughed. Sakura resisted the urge to slap him, and only stormed over to Mika, kneeling in front of her and narrowing her eyes sharply.

"Chakra. Now." She hissed, Naruto kneeling down and holding the object out to her. She smirked.

"Make me." She mocked. Sakura growled, and brought her now-larger foot right on Mika's nose, making the girl gasp and yowl in pain, trying to wiggle away, but Kakashi only put his weight down on her even more.

"I'll do it," She gasped. "If one of you, not your sensei here, can beat me."

Naruto perked up. "Fine, I'll do it—"

"Not at fighting." She said slyly, smiling. "But if one of you can beat me at a race, I'll turn you back."

Kakashi seemed to frown behind his mask, but Sasuke stepped forward, hands on his now-curved hips.

"I'll do it." He said blankly, dark eyes flickering to the smirking girl.

"Alright, if this kid can beat me to the entrance of your village, I'll put my chakra back in that stone." She agreed. Sakura looked uneasy, and Naruto looked annoyed, but Sasuke nodded, giving Kakashi a look. Kakashi shrugged and stood, letting Mika sit up, gasping for breath and rubbing her back, glaring lazily at a bored-looking Kakashi. Sasuke wordlessly grabbed th stone from Naruto's pocket, who narrowed his eyes at the now-female-Sasuke.

"And go!" Mika suddenly said, a wicked grin on her face as she darted off, Sasuke quickly following behind her. Sakura suddenly jumped after them without thinking, and Naruto watched her go in surprise, before glancing at Kakashi and running after her.

Mika was in the lead. She was graceful in her movement, jumping branch to branch, while Sasuke followed after her, looking a bit clumsier in his new body. But then he seemed to realize the advantages to his slim, longer legs, and suddenly he was right next to her.

Mika didn't look too happy at this, and pushed herself to go faster, jumping ahead of Sasuke, who ran faster and faster, his breathing becoming hitched by the speed, his black hair flying out behind him as he leaned forward, arms behind him.

And then suddenly, he was there, at the entrance, on his back panting, gasping for air, Mika stumbling to a stop behind him, panting as well, kneeled over, hands on her knees.

"I won." Sasuke said, gaining his breath back as he stood, holding the stone to her nose. She sighed, placing her hand on it and closing her eyes, crackling green chakra sparking from her fingertips and flowing into the stone. Once done, she opened her eyes and pulled her hand away. Sasuke put it in his pocket and looked up at her sharply.

"Now, you come with us. You're a prisoner here now." He said blankly. "Konoha has been after you—"

"That wasn't part of the deal, hun." Mika suddenly giggled, jumping away, disappearing into the trees. Sasuke cursed and went to go after her, but Sakura suddenly grabbed his arm and pulled him back, Naruto stopping right next to the male Sakura.

"You have it?" Sakura grumbled. Sasuke jerked his arm away from her and nodded, holding it out.

"B-But…" Naruto whined. "I'll miss my boobies." He sobbed, cuddling his oddly large breasts. "Bye, boobies…"  
"That's just sick!" Sakura shrieked, face red and eyes narrowed. Sasuke looked annoyed, but found the switch-like thing, and pressed it, the familiar light crashing around them, the warm feeling closing over them all.

They all looked up at each other once it was over, and everyone was back to normal. Sakura grinned and pumped her fists in the air, jumping around and cheering, while Naruto looked at his flat chest and sighed in mourning.

"Um, guys…" The heard a familiar, but oddly different voice say. "When you pushed that…"

In union, the three ninja turned around, and their jaws dropped at their now-female sensei.

"AW SHIT!"

**END.**


End file.
